THE MIND OF THE MOTHER-IN-LAW

 The editors at Reader’s Digest compiled this list of things your mother-in-law thinks, but would never say to you. It’s not only great insight into the mind of the mother-in-law — but a good guide to developing a better relationship with the mother of your man.Things Your Mother-in-Law Won’t Tell You:1. “I spent a couple of decades being the leading lady; now I have a character role. It hurts to be downsized.”

2. “I know he’s your husband now, but he’s still my son.”

3. “You don’t seem very confident about yourself. The littlest comment from me is taken as a criticism, so I’m very careful what I say around you.”

4. “Every year, I send you a birthday present, but you never even pick up the phone to thank me. This year, I said, ‘That’s it. No more.’ Yet look at me: I’m about to send another present. I guess that’s how I am.”

5. “We mothers say to our children, ‘I want you to be happy.’ And we mean that. What we don’t say is, ‘But I would like to be happy too.’”

6. “I’ve bought and sold 13 houses in my life. Why won’t you ask for my advice?”

7. “When I visit you, I’m not coming for a white-glove inspection. I’m just coming to see the family.”

8. “When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don’t call your house. I call his cell phone.”

9. “I’m in competition with your mother. She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can’t afford. All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that’s enough and that it’s appreciated.”

Swine Flu: Information for Concerned Parents and Caregivers

April 29, 2009, 7:15 PM ETWhat is H1N1 (swine flu)?
H1N1 (swine flu) is a type of influenza (flu) virus that causes respiratory disease that can spread between people. Most people infected with this virus in the United States have had mild disease, but some have had more severe illness, and there has been at least one death. Young children, pregnant women, and people with chronic diseases like asthma, diabetes, or heart disease may be at higher risk for complications from this infection. More information about who may be at higher risk will be available when more is known about the disease. There are steps you can take to protect your family and to know when to seek medical care.What are the symptoms?
In most children, the symptoms of H1N1 (swine flu) are similar to the symptoms of regular flu. They include:

FeverCough

Sore throat

Body aches

Headache

Chills and fatigue

Occasionally, vomiting and diarrhea

Young children may not have typical symptoms, but may have difficulty breathing and low activity. Little is known about how H1N1 (swine flu) may affect children. However, we think the infection may be similar to other flu infections. Typically, flu infections cause mild disease in children, but children under 5 years old are more likely to have serious illness than older children. Although rare, severe respiratory illness (pneumonia) and deaths have been reported with flu infections in children. Flu infections tend to be more severe in children with chronic medical conditions. How to keep from getting it:
Flu viruses spread from person to person mainly through the coughing or sneezing of a sick person. Flu virus may also be spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with the virus and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth. We think H1N1 (swine flu) spreads the same way as other flu viruses. Right now, there is no vaccine to protect against H1N1 (swine flu), but there are everyday actions that can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like H1N1 (swine flu): Teach your children to wash their hands frequently with soap and water for 20 seconds. Be sure to set a good example by doing this yourself.Teach your children to cough and sneeze into a tissue or into the inside of their elbow. Be sure to set a good example by doing this yourself.

Teach your children to stay at least six feet away from people who are sick.

Children who are sick should stay home from school and daycare and stay away from other people until they are better.

In communities where H1N1 (swine flu) has occurred, stay away from shopping malls, movie theaters, or other places where there are large groups of people.

What to do if your child is sick: Unless they need medical attention, keep children who are sick at home. Don’t send them to school or daycare.Have them drink a lot of liquid (juice, water, Pedialyte ®).

Keep the sick child comfortable. Rest is important.

For fever, sore throat, and muscle aches, you can use fever-reducing medicines that your doctor recommends based on your child’s age. Do not use aspirin with children or teenagers; it can cause Reye’s syndrome, a life-threatening illness.

If someone in your home is sick, keep him or her away from those who are not sick.

Keep tissues close to the sick person and have a trash bag within reach for disposing used tissues.

If your child comes in contact with someone with H1N1 (swine flu), ask your doctor if he or she should receive antiviral medicines to prevent getting sick from H1N1 (swine flu).If your child experiences any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care:

Fast breathing or trouble breathingBluish or gray skin color

Not drinking enough fluids

Not waking up or not interacting

Being so irritable that he or she does not want to be held

Not urinating or no tears when crying

Their symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough

For more information call 1-800-CDC INFO, or go tohttp://www.cdc.gov/swineflu

  It was 21 years ago this week that singer/guitarist Eric Clapton and Patti Boyd filed for divorce.  Between Clapton’s womanizing, alcohol and drug problems, the couple’s relationship was a roller-coaster ride to say the least. 

  They met while Boyd was still married to George Harrison, and Clapton set his eyes on her at that time.  He even went so far as to tell Harrison that he intended to have Patti for himself one day. 

  Two of Clapton’s most popular songs, “Wonderful Tonight” and “Layla” were written for Boyd.  While waiting for her to get ready for a dinner party, Clapton became irritated because she was taking her time.  To ease his mood, he began to pen the words to the song “Wonderful Tonight”, which became one of his biggest hits.  But songs of love wouldn’t be nearly enough to save the marriage. 

  Enjoy the music! 

How to Protect Yourself Without Dangerous Drugs and Vaccinations

An excerpt from Mercola.com

I have not caught a flu in over two decades, and you can avoid it too, without getting vaccinated, by following these simple guidelines, which will keep your immune system in optimal working order so that you’re far less likely to acquire the infection to begin with.

Optimize your vitamin D levels. As I’ve previously reported, optimizing your vitamin D levels is one of the absolute best strategies for avoiding infections of ALL kinds, and vitamin D deficiency is likely the TRUE culprit behind the seasonality of the flu — not the flu virus itself.

This is probably the single most important and least expensive action you can take.

Avoid Sugarand Processed Foods. Sugar decreases the function of your immune system almost immediately, and as you likely know, a strong immune system is key to fighting off viruses and other illness. Be aware that sugar is present in foods you may not suspect, like ketchup and fruit juice.

Get Enough Rest. Just like it becomes harder for you to get your daily tasks done if you’re tired, if your body is overly fatigued it will be harder for it to fight the flu. Be sure to check out my article Guide to a Good Night’s Sleep for some great tips to help you get quality rest.

Have Effective Tools to Address Stress . We all face some stress every day, but if stress becomes overwhelming then your body will be less able to fight off the flu and other illness.

Exercise When you exercise, you increase your circulation and your blood flow throughout your body. The components of your immune system are also better circulated, which means your immune system has a better chance of finding an illness before it spreads.

Take a good source of animal based omega-3 fats. Increase your intake of healthy and essential fats like omega-3, which is crucial for maintaining health. It is also vitally important to avoid damaged omega-6 oils that are trans fats and in processed foods as it will seriously damage your immune response.

Wash Your Hands. Washing your hands will decrease your likelihood of spreading a virus to your nose, mouth or other people. Be sure you don’t use antibacterial soap for this — antibacterial soaps are completely unnecessary, and they cause far more harm than good. Instead, identify a simple chemical-free soap that you can switch your family to.

Eat Garlic Regularly. Garlic works like a broad-spectrum antibiotic against bacteria, virus, and protozoa in the body. And unlike with antibiotics, no resistance can be built up so it is an absolutely safe product to use. However, if you are allergic or don’t enjoy garlic it would be best to avoid as it will likely cause more harm than good

Think your grocery has fresh beef? This is freakn funny . . .

Jasper’s in the Domain–Good Stuff!

“Big Daddy” Stimulus Package – Jasper’s Introduces Daily Specials to Ease Current Economic Stresses
Margin Mondays and Geithner Gathering Sundays – half price wine bottles up to $150
TARP Tuesdays – half-price dinner menu appetizers
Bailout Wednesdays – half-off regularly priced martinis
Earmark Thursdays – half-price desserts
Jasper’s Eases Austin in and out of tax season with:
Delicious four-course dinner every day for only $35 per person
Happy Hour ALL NIGHT, EVERY DAY with $5 drinks and $5 menu

Lyrid meteor shower visible to Central Texans

(from the Austin American Statesman and Sky and Telescope)

Central Texas should see quite a few meteors over the next few days during the annual Lyrid meteor shower, said Bob Rose, a meteorologist with the Lower Colorado River Authority.

Rose said the shower is named Lyrid after the star, Lyra, which is the point where most of the meteors seem to fall near.

He said the shower will peak early Wednesday morning, two to three hours before dawn, when about 10 to 20 meteors will fall every hour.

Lyra is easy to find because it’s marked by the brilliant blue-white star Vega. Vega ranks fifth brightest of all nighttime stars.

It’s best to view meteor showers without optical aid. Viewers should use just their eyes, so as not to restrict the field of view. Before midnight, face eastward, and look about halfway up. After midnight, looking overhead will probably net you the most meteors.

Astronomy magazine has more on the Lyrid shower here.

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  I don’t know about you, but I’m enjoying our Majic Super Songs of the 70’s weekends more and more every week.  Each time I play a 70’s song during the week now, the first thing that runs through my mind is, “I can’t wait ’til Friday, when I can kick off another Super Songs of the 70’s Weekend again”. 

  One of those “super songs” hit #1 this week in 1972, and stayed there for six weeks.  It was the Ewan Maccoll song “Killing Me Softly” sung by Roberta Flack, one of the most popular pop ballads of the 70’s. 

  The song was also featured in the 70’s movie “Play Misty For Me” (yes, I have had people actually call me up and whisper that line, “Play Misty For Me”.)  Weird, huh? 

  Enjoy the music! 

The following list came with much help of Kim Stewart and was a follow-up to a story yesterday morning about how office flings were on the increase in our shaky economy.  I mentioned that I had read an article about signs that you could be having an “emotional affair” and not even know it.

The phones lit up and everyone wanted that list.  Not knowing where I had originally seen the list, Kim the “Queen of the Google Search”  found it for me by searching “lint” + “emotional affair”.

Here is the list:  

Question: Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

“You’ve Probably Crossed the Line if You…

1. Touch your male friend in “legal” ways, like picking lint off his blazer.
2. Pay extra attention to how you look before you see him.
3. Think crush-like thoughts like “He’d love this song!”
4. Tell him more details about your day than you do your partner.
5. No longer feel comfortable telling your mate about this person and begin to cover up your relationship.
6. Experience increasing sensual tension; you admit your attraction to him but also insist to yourself that you would never act on it.”